Master Mistress

October 26, 2006

Pizza … (unfinished)

Filed under: Random Everyday Texts — mastermistress @ 10:33 am

It’s a bit of a cold day and I can’t be fagged cooking so I’m getting pizza and I feel guilty about the amount of fat and that but maybe if I have no meat on it that will help but then there is still the cheese perhaps I could get less cheese but the what would the point be in having a pizza maybe I will just not keep waiting in line and go home and cook but hell I’d have to do dishes to get anywhere near the stove and besides there is nothing to cook in even if I were to go an buy ingredients for the pizza to make it healthier I’d still have to wash something and create some bench space to cook it even the table is untidy and I can’t very well make it on the floor even if I do wash all the cutting boards so I’ll just keep waiting here in line I always say this is probably healthier than McDonalds of KFC but then no food that is fast is healthy maybe Subway but it tastes like it’s been soaking in dish water for a week maybe I might get some beer or wine on the way home at least if I am half tiddly I may not care as much but I really can’t be bothered going into yet another store and run the risk of having to talk to someone and get home late ok no time to change my mind yes I’d like one large Hawaiian with a stuffed mozzarella crust and a large Meatlovers please oh and a one point five of Pepsi ta oh yeah nah I won’t have any chips thanks yeah ok the Boysenberry please two pin number hell is that the right one we will soon know yep that’s it I bet they think everytime people come in here that they recognise they think they are getting bigger and bigger I always do that at McDonalds with the workers you see them start and they are slim wee things and after a few months they are porking a bit around the edges that must mean that I go there often to notice but not anymore not since they pissed me off keeping me waiting in the parking lot for ten minutes if I wanted food that took ten minutes to cook I’d have done it at home if the kitchen had been tidy of course I swore and declared I would never come to Pizza Hut again too after the phone order they got wrong and then two weeks later another phone order that they didn’t even get from the headquarters but the want of pizza keeps me coming here and it’s better than the competition and at least I don’t have to cook and clean no bastard ever helps me tidy up after meals I’d like to ban tv but I don’t know how I could handle that myself I’ll just stand over here and make way for the new orders coming in that guy is quite cute I remember when I could have pulled a young guy like that once upon a time funny how things change there’s a woman wearing a tracksuit that looks like it hasn’t been washed in a month or more food stains all down the front bare feet with crevices in the heels that are bigger than the Brook Valley I wonder if that will be me in five years time I’m probably like that now I wonder if I will ever get it together again before it is too late if I don’t lose weight now it may never happen but then I think why and what’s the hurry and why even bother I have everything I need and want and it’s all a bit much for a quick roll in the hay anyway I just caught the young cute guy looking at me wonder if he was comparing me to the other woman and thinking is that what I’ve got to look forward to in the future when my wife is older I’ve got to stop being so cynical or I will drive myself nuts oh yeah I am nuts too late that boat has sailed whoops young guy just pushed past me to get his order doesn’t he realized that physical contact like that gives an old girl like me a bit of a thrill I can live with small moments of tiny thrills in amongst a happy life rather than a life of crap and bigger thrills if only he could read my mind he must be all of twenty five such smooth skin I don’t know if I can remember the days when I lay against a man with such smooth skin or that I noticed it anyway and when I took my own smoothness for granted that I would always be like that growing old was something that happened to other people but a man in your bed a young man that smell that smell of manliness and comfort that seems to freeze everything in a moment of time when you are lying there next to each other oh god he’s talking to me sorry I was in his way of the door must try that one again sometime and he gave me such a nice smile I thought I might have had a moment of returned mojo do I risk coming off antidepressants for returned mojo or should I revel in what I prayed for all my single life no mojo to distract me from my focus nah I enjoyed that moment for what it was and not for what it could be otherwise it just sets up a false sense of hope no point having a big mojo like a Lamborghini in town too much energy and nowhere to let it run loose I remember a nice young guy I studied with who told me that he is always nicer to older women because he thinks it boosts their self esteem and makes them feel better about themselves which in turn makes him feel good about himself I think he’s married to an older woman now damn it ok I’ll read the coffee news here I wonder if they make any money out of this thing they seem to keep religiously doing it week after week the only problem with this kind of thing is that advertisers often never pay or pay way too late and the publication gets into trouble because their advertisers aren’t paying and then they can’t afford to pay staff to produce the magazine and then they can’t afford to print it either and it’s just all downhill from there but these guys seem to keep going there goes Mr. Whippy going past I wonder if he gets the same kind of business he used to when I was a kid I see there is a ms Whippy now not quite the same even though I’m all for equal rights and that everyone is standing around looking lost not wanting to be caught looking at anyone I could stare at people for ever it’s such an education in know mum taught me it was rude to stare but my father forced me to look him in the eye otherwise he would think I wasn’t taking him seriously now I am just a serial starer damned if I do and damned if I don’t jeeezuz how look can a pizza take to cook oh it’s only been 15 minutes should be another five maybe I can see everyone sigh as an order comes up and they perk their eyes and ears find out it’s not them then sink back down into their spines it’s a de ja vu moment looking at that 70’s ceiling what’s it called now we had it before my parent’s renovated yes Michelangelo ceiling panels or something like that all ready to just click into place and with several different patterns of holes or dents I’ve looked at this ceiling more than a few times in this predicament now I can see others looking at it they must have been watching me do it and it is catching on like a yawn how dare they look at me maybe we are all playing the same game or thinking the same things there goes the woman with stains wish it were me not as her exactly but at this stage of the waiting line can’t be long now it’s raining again mmmmmm mmmm mmmm mmm mmmmm mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm mmm mmmmm m mm mmmm mmmmmmmmmmmmmm what’s the use of humming in your head if you can’t hum out loud sometimes I have this panic when I am in a crowd that I am going to explode and any second and lose control of my body or start screaming

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