Master Mistress

October 26, 2006

Am drunk but still quite coherent

Filed under: Random Everyday Texts — mastermistress @ 10:25 am

wanted to start writing as I felt compelled listening to dance music that I enjoy but don’t have the body parts to keep up with

puts my children to shame at least they tell me so but puts me in another dimension that removes me from emotion and manipulative artist words designed to make me buy records this lets me think without an agenda pushed to feel something other than what is in my head already

can feel the keyboard against my palms gravity against my jowl and eyelids as I strain to see the screen not my romantic best I’m sure

but my own little world as I work and think my own thoughts

not someone elses

I am quite lucky

keep straightening my back to compensate for a comfy posture now as I write but not for my long term comfort as I slide towards old age

from experience I know what I would have done differently

but it can’t stop the desire to do things here and now otherwise keep living with guilt of future self harm

like that of a Christian with a promise of better things to come

but I know it won’t necessarily get better in the flesh

only in the wisdom of my own mind

but who will listen will they care only want to learn things their own way

and in their own time

should be cooking dinner for the family

should be studying and preparing for work tomorrow

so many things

so many responsibilities

everyone wants their own outcomes

but we expend the energy for the common good that no one appreciates until the wrong end of life

never when it’s needed

wonder if I will know when that moment comes for my kids from my grave

or will I care

will I know

will I be starting life over

noone notices this moment here and now

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